Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
this will be a night to untag.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
