I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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