He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize