Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
