But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
