I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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