Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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