its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
