Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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