Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
