return my video game
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
