i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize