i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
