She said her name was "party"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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