there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
