Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she pinky promised me she was 18
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My feet surprised me
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