Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
