OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think people are normalizing furries
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
