just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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