I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
