legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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