please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
