I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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