I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
