I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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