help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
