So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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