belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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