This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
