why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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