Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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