And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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