Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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