I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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