a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
