apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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