I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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