hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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