Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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