He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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