just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
