YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
