This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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