why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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