did you get engaged???
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
