She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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