she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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