you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
