Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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