Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
420 ftw
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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