he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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