billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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