one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
