hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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