the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize