Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
pray to the hookup gods
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
