Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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