is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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