so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
