so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
