They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
