The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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