Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
