i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
