I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
