Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize