He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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