IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
