I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
